In Search of Balance

One of the guilty habits I acquired while on maternity leave was watching "The View"...I know, crazy but I really actually like the banter and exchanges on hot topics. Friday's discussion was apropos to what was going on in my life. They were discussing the recent NYT op-ed piece "The Sandra Bullock Trade" which asked would you rather have a successful career or successful marriage? The ladies on "The View" discussed how this question wasn't asked of men, in fact it never came up with Tiger Woods? It seems to be the typical--"Women you have to choose work or family" debate. According to Barbara Wawa she says you can have a successful career AND marriage or a successful career AND successful children--essentially, you can have any two things but adding a third is humanly not possible. Unless, she stresses, you have a hands-on partner.

Phew, because being that I started back to work on a limited 15 hour a week schedule this week I was beginning to get depressed, thinking I was doomed. But fortunately Greg is very hands-on and while we both have our slight varying tactics we use to care for Olivia, our overall philosophy and approach is the same. But the seed has been planted and even knowing I had a partner who is very hands-on I still couldn't shake the "two but not three" Barbara Wawa theory. And so the challenge begins!

Mondays and Fridays are my days off. Tuesday I am in the office from noon to 5pm and Weds. and Thurs. I work from home from noon to 5pm. While this schedule won't last forever--I will gradually build to working 30 hours a week--I am determined to have all three...why? Not because I am an overachiever or seeking a challenge...because all three mean a lot to me. Ok, perhaps (maybe) I could loose the work component but there is a sense of satisfaction I get from it as well. Is it my focus as it once was--NO; the priorities have shifted and the two I choose are my husband and child but that doesn't mean just because work is now the third ranking item that it goes being neglected. It means boundaries and balance...although I hate the latter--balance--it is so cliche and means that things aren't in harmony. So I prefer boundaries, and I will admit, I have not been so good at this in the past...Yes, this is the girl who would work in the office while in NYC until 10pm and cab it home. But now I have this little person starring into my eyes! It's amazing how powerful and magical that really is.

Olivia reminds me of what is important everyday. She also allows me to find great joy in the simplest of things and explore alongside her. For instance, she learned to giggle and laugh on Friday. THANK GOODNESS I was sitting next to her when she did. Check out the video--we caught the tail end of her giggle fest. Greg and I have watched this video 100 times since and we still merry in the joy she expresses. Little does she know but she is teaching mommy just as much as mommy is teaching her.

So far: happy baby, which will hopefully lead to successful child. Now onto the next challenge--healthy marriage. Ok, date nights are a little more challenging with an 11week old and most of our family in Southern California or at least 45 minutes away. Fortunately, we do have Greg's dad close if we ever get in a pinch. Suddendly I remembered reading, in some parenting publication, how to make date nights happen even if you don't leave your home. So, on Friday we started with a nice late afternoon family walk, then we fed baby and down she went to bed. And although I had planned to make dinner that turned into a joint activity as well! Fortunately, Greg enjoys cooking as well and he makes a great sous chef, and so we began the chopping and sautéing...the extra help was appreciated and fun, especially since we were trying a new recipe. Greg took the initiative to light the candles and voila--we were "out but in" for dinner together! Afterwards, we meandered downstairs (with baby monitor in tow) to watch a movie. We realized however, we had a ton on TIVO that has gone unwatched and so being the reality TV junkies we are we opted for an episode of Kitchen Nightmares and Sober House (romantic, huh?). It might not sound like every one's idea of a great date but just having the uninterrupted time together was perfect enough for us. We call it reconnecting time and that it was.

As for boundaries, I think I hit a milestone on Friday just like Olivia did with laughing; I didn't log in ONCE to my work email and I left the blackberry OFF! May not sound like a big deal but anyone who knows me should know just how significant that step is in my quest for balance!!

Whirlwind travels and bedtime routines

So let me state the obvious...I am a bad blogger. It's been way too long between posts, but then again I think I have a good 10 week excuse.

Olivia and I spent a week in LA and then Greg came down for Easter weekend to spend with us and my family. It was a great trip and Olivia had quite the LA welcome. One test complete: Miss O makes a good road warrior! She slept 90% of the drive and ate the other 10%. No fuss, no muss...thank goodness. She saw LA, the OC and San Diego too--hindsight I was probably pushing it, but thank goodness the little lady appears to have the travel bug gene. The only downside is a 5-6 hour drive to LA from SF turns into an 8-9 hour drive with stops, stretches and feeding breaks.

Our other big approach is developing a bedtime and nap time routine. We started with naps and are in day 4 of bedtime routine. I don't want to jinx anything but so far so good. We started with putting her down for naps in her cradle (where she currently sleeps at night) for her naps. Then moved to developing a bedtime "routine" which consists of feeding, bath (every 2-3 days, don't think every night is warranted right now, do you?), books, small talk or song, swaddle, giraffe sound machine(by Cloud B--see photo--a Godsend) and in 15 or so minutes she is out! Whoo hoo!!!!



I'm a little torn though I will admit. I was an anti-pacifier pre-child person and will admit bedtime also includes a paci/binkie. My aversion to the pacifier was developing a dependency to it; you know the speaking toddler roaming about with one in mouth while trying to talk. So I fear while she is going down for bedtime like a champ, am I creating a dependency on not only the pacifier but the giraffe?!!?

My fears were slightly calmed when I read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Karp. Although Olivia is/has never been (knock on wood) a colicky baby (which Dr. Karp focuses much of his approach toward), developing good sleep habits and ability to sooth a fussy baby has been on the top of my list. So to see that I was hitting 3 of his 5 "s" was a relief. But then again as any baby book has there are always another viewpoints and opinions. The good thing is Olivia doesn't seem to be a fan of the pacifier anytime except for bedtime. She has recently become a bigger fan of her fist--I was a thumb sucker and that is my other fear seeing how much that cost my parents in ortho! But the other night Olivia slept 7 hours and last night it was 6so I'm selfishly loving the sleep I am getting as well :)

So what worked/works for you? What's your bedtime routine? And go ahead give me your opinion on my dependency theory...goodnight (hopefully another long peaceful night)

Mommy skills; all I really needed to know to succeed!

There's a running list of skills I've acquired over the years, all of which are included on my resume. But I have come to find that life as a mom has brought with it some new interesting skills that unless you've been there, you might not appreciate but also rightfully deserve their own share on parchment paper.

They're a bit superhero in name, then again I think anyone who can do any of the listed below has superpowers! While they might not exactly apply to business, I've taken the liberty of translating them as such, it's amazing how they actually apply:

--Boogy Bandit: ability to leverage suction to evict even the most stubborn nose occupant!
Business Translation: "The Donald Trump"--hard nosed (no pun intended, ok maybe) and persistent with all transactions/deals and has no problem firing those who are not cooperative.

--One Handed Cape Crusader: manages daily tasks such as (but not limited to) answering phones, typing/facebooking, preparing bottles, pumping and even going potty--all with the use of only one arm; baby occupies the other.
Business Translation: "Jill-of-all trades or Queen multitasker" who gets pulled in multiple directions at once but does so with grace and even a smile on occasion.

--Diaper Avenger: implements the perfect transition from dirty to clean diaper and anticipates a solution for the unexpected toots and leaks that undoubtedly only occur once the clean diaper is exposed.
Business Translation: "The Salesman/woman" whose timing is impeccable and can close on any sale regardless of customer excuse because he/she has a convincing response to any point of hesitation...even if the salesperson's response is full of sh*t!

--Sing, Song Saver: creates melodies, some well known and others are originals, often made up on the spot, to soothe, comfort, deflect and even bring a smile to baby's face!
Business Translation: "The PR Spinster" whose sing, song and dance skills are vital to ensuring his/her client's public/private issues are presented in ways that protect and optimize image, brand and reputation.

I've only been at this a month...do you have one I missed? Don't be shy, add your mommy superhero persona as a comment! Let's see how many identifies we can create for ourselves.

"Mama-vice"

I was lucky to have my mom with me for a week right after Olivia was born. She is here again to offer her help with Miss O, cook dinners, do laundry and dishes...HEAVEN! However, it is clear to anyone who is her Facebook friend (yes, my mother is on Facebook) that Olivia is her pride and joy. I am the oldest child and have watched my parents love for my siblings develop and grow but to watch my mom and dad with Olivia is a one-of-a-kind experience; both are absolutely over the moon. It's different; not more or less than the love for us, their own children, just different. A good different.

Another thing happens--well, at least I found it happening to me; I listen to my mom a little more closely now that I'm a mom! Before when she would offer her two cents about work, school, fashion, love/relationships, etc., I'll admit, I listened with half an ear open...ok, there was the occassional rolling of the eyes that accompanied some of her pointers too. And yet now, it is as if I am reading a Dear Abby column or watching HGTV or the Food Network (my favs :>). I am listening and watching with great intent and really wanting to learn and absorb all she has to say. I'm not sure why? But as my love for my husband and child deepens, I find my love for my parents also growing even stronger.

I have a great relationship with both my parents and my mom and I have always shared a special bond. I guess I listen and observe so intently now because I can only hope to be as much of a loving and wonderful mom as she has been/is to me!

What has been some "mama-vice" you've found helpful and useful to you? Can be baby related or not. Let's honor these amazing women's contributions to our lives and share with others the helpful tip/advice given to you by your mom, step mom, grandmother, aunt, best friend's mother, etc...

Welcome Olivia Grace!

On January 29 at 9:34am, Greg and I welcomed Miss Olivia Grace Karampelas into this world. It was quite the whirlwind; there were three epidural attempts, going from 4 cm to 10 quicker than you can say push and speaking of pushes...Miss O was ready, only requiring three! The most amazing part of the delivery was when Dr. Gary Hoff (who is AMAZING) tells me to reach down and grab my baby...At this point we did not know if the baby was a girl or a boy because only her head and shoulders were exposed. I reach down Dr. Hoff places my hands under her
arms and he tells me to pull her towards me...I do and I look and say, "it's a girl!" through tears, of course! I raise her to my chest and Greg dashes from over the doctor's shoulder to my side and I look at him and say, "Olivia Grace" and he nods and utters, "Olivia Grace!"

Our baby who we've anxiously awaited 10 months for is here...and what a head of hair she has to boot!

It's been nearly 2 weeks since her birth and the love affair just continues to deepen. It seems like this moment is something I have been priming for my entire life and now it is here. This little precious girl looks into my eyes and I melt and am overwhelmed by the responsibility placed on me to provide her with everything necessary to live. It is a feeling like no other; wonderful, terrifying, peaceful and fulfilling.

A dear friend also told me that you also fall more in love with your partner during this time...at first I thought, "how sweet" and kind of brushed it off (sorry Trish). But then I watched Greg be enamored with Olivia and watched him care and dote over her and suddenly I got it...I was falling in love with him again. I also noticed we looked at each other differently--we were parents, we were partners, we were two that just made one...truly changes the perspective, I think. Greg has been wonderful both immediately after the birth until this day. He insists on being hands-on and takes the midnight/1am changing/feeding so I can get a couple of hours of deep sleep while he minds Olivia. I am blessed to have Greg and now Olivia in my life. Women do this on their own all the time and I have a couple of friends who are currently doing so...these women are having the same love affair as I and I think that is the most beautiful thing in the world! It takes a strong woman to go through the process of raising a child...Greg is the first to admit...if it were left to men, the end of civilization would already have occurred centuries ago.

Here's to Olivia Grace and all the wonderful mothers out there!

Life is about to change!

I am 2 hours away from a start of a whole new life! Hard to imagine what I am about to experience but I believe I am ready. Last night Greg and I went out to dinner and we sat just looking at each other--a rare moment that neither one of us has something to say. It was as if there were no words to describe sitting in our favorite Indian Restaurant without distraction but each other. Greg broke the silence and said, "This is the last dinner it will be just you and I." And all I could muster up was, "This is the last time it will be you and I...FOREVER." But it wasn't a death sentence I was delievering it was more a statement of amazement that there will soon be a mini us on this earth relying on the two of us for guidance, direction, safety and support. It wasn't a super romantic evening but it will probably be one of the moments I will always remember between Greg and I...it was the moment we realized we're becoming parents and our branch of our family tree is about to bloom!

Books & Bookmarks

Great resource for product recalls; bookmark suggestion:

US Consumer Product Safety Commission:
http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/category/child.html

Are there other sites we should bookmark?

Another community call out request: Which books were/are most helpful to you as a new mom. I'd love to hear your reviews and recommendations on which ones are your favorite. Books can be all inclusive "the first year" or specific to certain topics--sleep training, potty training, feedings, etc.

If you are looking for resources or support on a particular topic, mention it in your comment so others can contribute and hopefully help!

Onwards...

Gotta love the husband!

On a recent weekly visit to the doctor's, all the usual was happening as planned. Heartbeat doppler: check, cervix measurements taken: check...well this is where this doctor's visit will remain one of the most memorable.

As my nurse practitioner is telling me I am 2.5 cm dilated, she says, "I am touching your baby's head!" My husband's face lit up, like I have never seen...not even when he first saw me walk down the isle...LOL. He responds, like a kid in a pet store, "Really, can I touch it?" My head snaps toward my nurse practitioner and without words I am saying through my look, "You aren't really going to let him are you?" Bless her heart, she says "Well, it's up to your wife but it's not as simple as it seems."

Hating to burst my husband's bubble, the only thing I could think of saying was "Ummm, honey, this is not a petting zoo! You'll be able to hold our little one soon enough!" I could tell he understood but he really thought we was capable of slapping on a glove and make his way to our baby!

It was funny, and yet so touching to see the pure excitement that resides within my husband during this time. It's hard to remember that even though we are the ones carrying the child, there is another who is also developing their own love affair with what is within.

What's husband/partner story do you have? Do share!

Days away from "B" Day

Between tosses, turns and night time bathroom trips, it came to me...I have a wonderful network of friends and family members who have taken or are taking this journey I am about to start. Motherhood. My questions, my concerns, my deepest thoughts and desire for my soon-to-be can and will be shared with this dynamic group. Their support, advice and recommendations are going to be so invaluable. Yet, we all are sprinkled throughout various locations, so coffee and tea chats are not likely. While, it will still take a village to raise this child, it will likely be a virtual village connecting us all in this bond of mamahood.

As I face the unknowns of labor--the aches, the pains, the bold, the beautiful and the "other stuff"--I suddenly don't feel alone (no offense my dear husband, but it's a girl thing!). I realized, how lucky I was to have a sisterhood with so many wonderful women. But how selfish of me to keep this wonderful "troupe" to myself and all their words of wisdom. And so Mama Troupe was formed--more than a blog--it won't be all about me...it will be about us, our kids, our successes, our struggles, everything we mamas face or will soon face!

It's not about judgement, it's not about knowing everything or knowing nothing it is about sharing and raising our children...together! And while we may have never met, we too will be connected through our comments, our support and our encouragement! So don't be shy, if you know all of us or none of us--comment, ask questions and keep the troupe growing strong.

Let the fun times begin!